{How a Man treats a 1St choice woman, he does: Do stuff to make her life better.(If he settles and doesn't want her: he's lazy and doesn't do much in her world to make her life better. Not doing a lot of things asked for , rarely does the relationship move forward if living together cause she's not what he wants.
How to tell a man is the first choice for a woman: {"If you Want Something You will give it your all: you treat it better.}
If a women loves a man: she wants to make a happy home, happy nest, happy future, together, happy everything, a close connection, fix problems." Chazz Ellis] For women this could included shops and buys little tokens of love for special moments, all gifts bought a year in advance! Thinking of you and love for you through out her day.
According Chazz Ellis "(self professed "full of shit nigger"): {Men like this are "full of shit nigger with low self-esteem playing a nasty game" >> Instead of doing things to have himself endured to his wife like in a girlfriend/boy friend type relationship.
He is doing: PLAYING GAMES Why? Method to keep ttarget interested, the Jerk Face Way.
1. JERK Face WAY: so inematic, keep you figuring out what he doing.
2. The first sign is, always wants to know what you feeling about him, but vague about his feelings towards you. This is to get a base line on
you without giving you much in return.
3. Constantly makes plans, then cancels without giving notice, with an Oh, Sorry. (False promises fall in there too.)
4. Man disappears for days, weeks, months,& acts like nothing happened when he returns. ( includes announce together/not together cycles. Destroy her emotional, then next day act like nothing happen, or ask for major things 2 days later).
5. Man responds to HARSH HARASH criticism via with an apologize back without getting mad. "OK', or "I understand" Right after that, they
try a reconnection with you. REPEATEDLY.
6. Every time; they leave you empty, frustrated, & angry after each encounter. But you strangely always want more .
Why do you put up with it? Because this causes you to CHASE ghosts >(them Or truth of story).
Then the detective kicks in, in you to know. You chase to the end of the earth to find out what is going on?
They never give you more or an answer.
THE CHASE FOR THE ANSWER KEEPS YOU INVOLVED.
7. They feel you have what they want. For some it is all about, acquiring a woman's wealth & sex/control, the chase, the hunt, when man is successful - your no longer interesting, and he'll dump you married or not. The man will destroy what he can in your life as retribution.
What can you do? STOP. Stop trying to play(figure put what is going on)/follow what their GAME is doing. As long as you play(try to figure it out); they WIN. They already like you. They don't feel like they have enough to offer you; So . . . . How they get control of you? Is by playing of the GAME; to get you pissed off.
When they get you pissed off, they don't like you as much and it helps them. Cause you tell them how awful they are.
It helps them not like you as much and gives them strength when you dislike them. Be Real.
Lay it out for them that you don't like them when they do ."x". and then keep your distance. Get them out of your life.}
THIS PLAYER, like others; makes the begining so good they get past your defenses, that a nice guys gets caught in.
(Hook, Line & Sink her.) The player Sets the hook in your mouth - (the prize he has created).
And they know it will keep you coming back for the rest of your life. Trying to get that hooked high.
The only thing that works with men like this is to bond with him prior to a relationship - so strongly & emotionally that he would care verses use her -. providing they are not misogynists or a narcissistic psychopath.
Everything any man does is based on what you are to him.
The Player builds equity with you, so you take their shit later, even 8 years later.
If a man values you, he can't use you easily cause he won't want to." Chazz Ellis
When you are able to stop participating in the PLAYER'S game, he'll split like his tail was soaked in ceresin and set on fire. They may even continue to taunt you from a distance. Tell you HOW MUCH HE HATES YOU! Hurt you if no other control works. Basically Liars - it is the loss of control & ability to steal they hate. He never loved you - he doesn't know how to love!
What you do is think . "Good then go with my blessing! and don't return!"
Some will even be willing to marry to keep their hooks in - You are not long term if you get comments similar to You should sleep on the floor or on a pile of boxes if you complain of being kicked in kidneys at night; or him taking up the whole bed. If you are the one with a job to go to in the morning with out sleep! Plain abuse!
He values nothing, especially other people or their lives, everything in your life is a weapon to be used against you for controlling or hurting you and/or to liquidate for cash.
Women are this type of man's his booty call, source of : home, food, money, and transportation. His job will be short lived; cause once he's got you he don't need a job. Most of his energy and thinking entails controlling or manipulating you. He will sleep with any one; as long as they provide something for him; it isn't that you are special. This man's livelihood depends on how well he can read you, so he will constantly ask you, BUT he doesn't divulge anything very personal and nothing recent. Just ancient history and little of it.
Uses "I Love You" like a money exchange, with no value backed up in what he says. Actions don't match. Example would be: Insistently give you control of $, then have you pay bills and borrow back more then he gaves you. If you catch that; he makes a big things about trust, relationship, giving selfishly, sharing, and he's generous cause he gave you everything, now your expected to buy more than he provides.you. They call this "a slick operator".
Another sign: He has nothing to show for late years of life. 2. He claims he isn't materialistic; not true - because he wants what you got & will take it for pawn and bribery to buy loyality of others. Truth is, his whole life, he has lost or abandoned EVERYTHING. Property and people. WHY? Cause he uses/robs people; especially emotionally verses builds, so he has lot of legal problems/criminal ordeals, which he RUNS from too. A lot of emotional problems he RUNS from. When people get to know him he can't put the game on them anymore. So he splits. Men like this especially likes church victims; as church people keep coming back for more "treatment".
Verses doing the right thing: all he has to do is be REAL and face what he has done. AND fix these things, but he refuses to hold his ground like a man. Keeps fleeing to new hunting grounds. New women and people to live off of.
SO now HE has injured another woman, maybe lost children now too.
You should do a background checking on him before flling in love with him.
EVERY COUNSOR AND PROFESSIONAL I TALKED TO About a situation like this SAID, THERE NEVER WAS A MARRIAGE WITH "X" SO DIVORCE AND LEAVE HIM Including Gary Smalley twice live on radio! "This is Not a marriage, not even a marriage on paper. In reality just a name change and expectancy of a husband for the woman. A legal way to use someone." From Gary Smalley, nationally renowned marriage counslor to local physicologists all said leave this type of man. POINTLESS TO BE USED! This type of man has no intention of being a husband or he would have been one.